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Real Talk: Want to be more confident about yourself? We gotta help each other out!

Yes I love filters :)!!!

Self confidence has been a huge issue for me all my life, and partly I think it’s because I’m a girl.

Why do I blame all my security issues on my gender?
Well although it’s not 100% based on gender, being born a girl really doesn’t help me in the confidence stakes. Why? Well:
  • We get exposed to pictures of perfect women all day everyday and expect ourselves to look airbrushed and made up when we roll out of bed
  • Boyfriends expect us to fart rainbows and it’s also supposed to smell like flowers
  • We enormous pressure to be a great daughter, girlfriend, student, career women, home maker, friend etc. you name it, we create this perfect ideal. Guys just need to have a great career and make lots of money – we need to do that and raise a family and be like SUPER MUM. If you don’t want to have kids you got it a bit easier 🙂 Well, actually you’ll need to fend off family requests for grandchildren.
  • We have to put up with tremendous amounts of criticism from EACH OTHER
Ok I’ll going to stop my list now because I really just want to address the last point. I think it’s hard enough that we put so much pressure on ourselves about how we look and how smart we are, and how lovable we are for other people, but to then to put up with criticisms from each other I think is just not helpful.
We have a hard enough time dealing with confidence issues ourselves, I guess we should really help each other right?? Not make it worse
Feel free to disagree with me but I’m going to keep talking anyways.
To be honest I do it as well. I’m sure we all have. Had a girl walk past that may look perfectly fine but we comment something like

“Omg how big are her legs”
“Did you see her hair – it was so gross”

I think it’s so natural for us to say things like that, and be so detailed that every little thing is picked up. It can be something so small but glaringly obvious when critical eyes are upon you. 
Which really adds to me being so self conscious!! 
Have you ever walked down the street and just thought, omg they are totally staring at my pimple/fat anything/messy anything – whatever it is. And luckily most of the time people probably are too busy thinking about themselves they don’t notice.
BUT THAT ONE TIME someone mentions it to you, it’s like you’re an emotional paranoid wreck, well for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE about that one thing.
Add all these moments together, and well we have this huge building list of securities that stick with us, and are so hard to shake off. 
Also you know what makes it worse?? 

When you do it to other girls. 
I think the more time you spend saying these things to other girls it makes you just as paranoid for yourself. It’s like that effect when cheaters get really possesive and jealous because they know they can cheat themselves so they assume their partner is. I think it is the same thing for criticisms and same for negative thoughts.
The more you let it happen even to other people in your life the more it consumes you, it’s a horrible bad habit. If people ever tell you it’s ok “to let it all out” Just know that don’t indulge in it too much or it’ll become a habit and that negativity will last longer then it should.

Distract yourself.
Spend more time giving other’s compliments.
Spend more time loving others 🙂

If you do this more it’ll come back to you, trust me. That or you’ll at least stop thinking about all the negative things about yourself because you’re too busy complimenting other people 🙂 I hope that helps??
This is my monthly emotional rant I think 🙂 
Also want to say I’m sorry to neglect you blog readers for my YouTube channel, in fact I’m much more awkward on video and when I talk out loud. So I’ll go back to typing it here for some of my future real-talks. I feel I have much more freedom to think and I also find it easier to communicate my thoughts.
Yay I’m a hermit that loves watching TV shows (yes I’m shamefully addicted to Supernatural atm)


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12 Comments

  • Reply
    Emily
    October 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    The pictures are so pretty Wengie, I really do like your dark hair! ^-^ I think you make such a good point, I feel so bad when I hear girls making fun of another girl, it's so horrible but I don't think people realise sometimes:( Though saying that I've heard some pretty nasty comments from guys as well, so I don't think it's totally gender biased. Thanks for sharing this post Wengie:D x

    http://www.emilymarysia.blogspot.co.uk

  • Reply
    Sugar Bunny
    October 4, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    I do really agree with youuu!
    sometimes i feel it's hard to be a girl or my self, coz people judge you.
    And I feel horrible when girl make fun of another girl, coz i think every girl is pretty :))

  • Reply
    Vivian Yuen
    October 4, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    Oh girls problems haha. We put so much pressure on each other when really, we all need to learn to be content with who we are, how we look, where we're headed =) Really thought-provoking post Wengie.

    LIVE.IN.LOVE

    ~

  • Reply
    H O N E Y
    October 5, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    ♥ BEAUTIFUL, i love it!

  • Reply
    Momopodo
    October 6, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    #RealProblems. Haha but seriously you addressed a lot of issues here and I respect that :3 POWER!

    If you have any free time, could you please check out my Asian Beauty/ Skincare blog? momopodo.blogspot.com ! Thanks so much and have a great day ~ (^_^)/

  • Reply
    文学少女 (Literature Girl)
    October 6, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    Hi Wengie! New follower here!

    I make it a point to never 'diss' a girl with or without her knowledge, especially when it comes to choices in her wardrobe, her makeup, the way she wants to present herself in the world. Growing up, I was actually taught to never judge a person no matter what they looked like. I remember my parents correcting me for laughing at a fat kid who's getting bullied. They did make me see how life is harder for some people, and that adding insult to injury by thinking the worst of them just on how they look would compound that. And that if I were in that other kid's place I would feel absolutely terrible and sad.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • Reply
    Lottie
    October 9, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    great post!like your blog!
    could you check out mine please? would be an honour!
    Itsfashiondamnit
    Thankss!
    xxx

  • Reply
    FionaChan
    October 11, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    This is so true. I believe it has something to do with what we've been taught our whole lives, and the many generations before us, which is sad.

  • Reply
    Benitaa S
    October 11, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    i agree with you! and wengie, you look so pretty with dark hair <33

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  • Reply
    Lara Rose
    October 11, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Looks great! Love your style! Amazing blog you have.

  • Reply
    Aya Sakamoto
    October 14, 2013 at 11:55 am

    This is true. I think people tend to focus on parts of another person's body that they are self conscious about on their own body. For example, I have a strange habit of glancing at people's teeth because mine are a bit crooked. Then I think that if the other person has a better part of this body, there is some jealousy and we try to compensate by looking for things that we have better of. Basically, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and we do it so often, we don't see it as anything out of the normal, and it just becomes a habit.

    I find that looking for the best in people and telling them about it makes me feel better than fixating on flaws. I mean, how awful is it to point out a slight quirk, probably something they've noticed and can't even fix, and now they're obsessed with it forever just because you told them?

    I agree we all should just embrace our quirks and each others quirks and be happy that we are not all a cookie cutter figure of the same girl. We're unique and awesome!

    -Aya
    http://healthy-appetite.blogspot.de/

  • Reply
    lilac beam
    October 14, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    this is such a lovely post! and you're absolutely gorgeous. x

    lilacbeam.blogspot.ca

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